I’ve not written anything for a looong time. I’ve jut not had the time. In theory, what with me only working part time, term times, I should have bags of available time rattling around, just waiting to be filled. But either I’m just really bad at time management or somehow I’ve managed to fill that extra time with “stuff”. I also know that in order to write anything here, I need to devote a decent sized, uninterrupted block of time and that just doesn’t seem to happen that often.
My brain is basically a shopping list full of things that have to be done. Most of it is highly mundane – some of it I’m avoiding (ironing, again!) – and most of it just never ends. It might get dealt with “for now” but then it just drops a bit further down the list waiting to sneak it’s way back up again.
This week, for us, it’s half term. The schools are off and therefore I’m off work. I tend to use this time to help catch up on stuff that’s been lurking on the list for a while, but also things that are more difficult to arrange during term time – stuff that requires the kids to be involved.
Unfortunately, so far this week, most of my time and concentration has been focussed on the guild. And not in a good way. I was hoping to sneak in some time to just learn to enjoy playing WoW again. Recently it’s just felt like a job – logging in, doing maintenance (keeping the roster tidy, website up to date, guild vault sorted), trying to plan and organise raids, being online enough to be approachable if needed whilst getting dailies done.
A few weeks ago I bought the Legion upgrade and I’ve had that big “level up” button just waiting for me to select a character to boost. I’ve just about settled on one, but despite that, so far it’s taken me two weeks to get to that character only once to start looking at it again.
Yet one person in the guild seems to be needing my time devoted to him. This one person has had more of my time and attention over the last few days than my own kids. For which I feel really bad. And rather annoyed.
This one person has somehow been involved in virtually every problem that has happened in the guild over the last 18-24 months. The amount of hours that have been devoted to dealing with “problems” that looking back on, weren’t actually massive problems until this one person got involved, is completely stupid.
Admittedly some of the problems that he has brought to our attention have been a slight problem – but the old adage “mountain out of a molehill” springs to mind. There was no reason why spending a few minutes dealing with them would not have sorted them out. Yet once this person gets involved, they suddenly spring into a size out of all proportion – things happen, people leave, drama occurs, massive amounts of time and effort are put into dealing with them.
Our guild prides itself (or tries to) on being an inclusive guild. We cater to the casual player, the casual raider, the player who has never raided but would like to give it a go. We base our whole rulebook on being nice to others, considerate and honest. Being able to utilise common sense, being a grown up and knowing what is right and wrong, and speaking to an officer if there is a question or problem that relates to the running of the guild or raids.
Over the last year or so, this ethos has been increasingly more difficult to honestly use as our strapline – seemingly because of one person.
I have no proof that this one person has CAUSED problems, but the past speaks for itself. He is either someone who has a remarkable knack for attracting and growing little seeds of a problem into something big without even knowing it, or it’s happening deliberately.
In virtually every other way, he has been an asset to the guild. He organises events, takes part in events, helps out with advice to others and takes part in guild chat.
But he also has an ability to rub people up the wrong way – not a day goes by when he will say something that subtly puts someone else down or suggests that he is better than someone else. I suspect at least one person recently has left because they could no longer deal with this, and several other people have alluded to it in passing.
He causes problems by either trying to avoid them, even when he is involved in them, or by sending us a little “oh just to let you know” message where someone else has spoken to him about something, and then he decides to pass that information on. But he’ll do it in a manner that makes it impossible to act upon – vague information that “some people” are having “some problem”. He views himself as the guild information gatherer, where in fact he appears to be gathering little snippets of chat, sometimes not even directed at him, focussing them and making them into something they’re not.
Even when drama has been dealt with and over for some time, he still likes to quietly tell people all about them, re-writing history so that he’s the victim or the bystander that just somehow got dragged into things that he couldn’t control.
But as I said .. I have no actual proof – I have hearsay and huge amounts of circumstantial evidence stacked up, but no one event is enough cause in itself to say “enough is enough”.
But we are getting to the stage where enough IS enough. WoW is a game that should be enjoyed by all. I realise that as I’m in the position I’m in, a certain amount of “non-fun” things need to be done, however, this one person is sapping my will to do any of that – which I’ve just realised is actually horribly disrespectful and unfair to all of those people who actually do enjoy the game, do enjoy being part of the guild and the events we organise.
We’re getting to the point where, unless this person grows up very rapidly, can look back at what has happened and be TRULY honest with themselves, they’re going to have to go. There is only so much leeway we can give in the hope that it finally dawns on them.
Because I still can’t believe that one person can deliberately cause this many problems yet still want to stick around, so my only conclusion is that they just don’t realise – that perhaps they have such an inflated view of themselves that they just cannot believe it has anything to do with them.
But it is causing problems for the guild as a whole, and for the officers and myself specifically, together with anyone else caught in the middle. And I’m losing the patience to wait for the time when they understand their role in everything that has happened.
Until they can truly understand and be honest with themselves about their role in past problems, they’re not going to be able to control themselves to prevent it happening again in the future.
I feel I have some responsibility towards this person in order to help them understand what they want and need from the game, and how they interact with others, but there is only so much I can do, or am willing to do, especially when it has such a large impact on the guild as a whole.
And the needs of the guild as a whole outweigh the needs of the one person.